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Greedy Goose

Greedy guts, gobble goose
No more pasta, no more juice
You greedy geese took all the fruit
A long, wasted commute for poor old Mr Bute

Glutenous geese, you gorge and you feast
“Go grab that meat” gorbed porky Pete
His pipes run thick with gastric grease
No food left to feed to poor old Mrs Reese

You hog and you hoard and you hurl and you heave
You bundle and wheeze with toilet paper knees
Can’t swipe nor wipe with vegan mac n cheese
Poor old Mrs Brown, she’s covered in faeces 

Guzzling goose, you gobble and squabble
You grab the last grapefruit and run home to your rabble
The only thing left is a Polish Pot Noodle
Garble and gurgle goes poor old Eric Herble

In shadows they cower, the aisles they scour
Only scattered bread rolls on the long checkout counter
Troll emptied shelves, they left no more flour
These gees leach the gluten at Gertrude’s final hour

Gormandizing geese, you gurgle like beasts
You grunt and you gasp at gorgonzola treats
You’ve stockpiled your pockets and filled up your briefs 
No compassion, nor kindness, benevolence deceased

Shop assistant Ernie, turns around and says firmly,
“Serves you right sneaky Shirley, your hoard of bread has gone curly
They raced to the store, they thought they were early
Twas’ a long, wasted journey for Mr and Mrs Fernley 

Greedy fat geese, You gulp up your grub
You slurp like a twerp at your gallon of gravy
We begrudge every gargle, every glug that you take
No grapes and no gallantry, only gargling pantries

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Stay Alert

Never thought I’d miss a walk
Down a bustling city sidewalk
A carefree hug, a quick handshake
But now I watch each move I make

I’m scared of everyone I pass
Do I even trust the glass
That parts me from the keeper's till
Disinfect your shopping bill

Streets are silent, parks are eerie
Under masks, alone and teary 
When will it end? Rainbows don’t know
What to tell the kids that show
Intrigue, fear, bravery, curiosity 
Honesty is our best policy

It’s alright to feel this fear
We feel this fear to keep us safe
Distance learning, new rules made
20 minutes of Zoom per day

Briskly walk around your house
Nowhere nearer to your spouse
Write a letter to a friend
Forgotten friendship on the mend

My friends and family – they’re 2D now
Intimate screens, we push against glass
Hour long run, bypass a mate’s house
Stood there guilty, two meters of grass
Two meters, no clarity; let safety surpass

Lock Britain up tight, til the tenth day in May
But let it all slip for VE Day
Newspapers coax out the gullible and vulnerable 
Take one for the team, herd immunity is honourable 

Unclarity and confusion earn the biggest of bucks
Fines are going up, ‘stay alert’ - the crux
Stay at home, go to the park, social distance, go to work
Stay at home, protect the NHS
You’re a fucking mess.



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